I will Remember him in Fire and Rain
by Saffa
Summary: "I am Erudite. But now i am Dauntless. Together with my Edward i have chosen a new path. But is it truly my path? My name is Myra Evans and this is my future." A story dedicated to Myra. Of her love and leaving of Edward and how she truly finds her way in this broken world.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hi everyone, this is my first Divergent fanfic for Myra. I felt that Roth didn't really portray her as an important character, but that there is a story for her somewhere. So here it is. Please enjoy~**

**Disclaimer: As always, i don't own any of these amazing characters. That's all Roth's deal. **

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**Prologue**

I am Erudite.

I love reading, love learning, love soaking up new information. I love those moments in the library where peace reigns and the only noise you can hear is the turning of pages. I love the time when other Erudites would pause to chatter over a cup of steaming coffee about the latest research or newfound data.

It was also where I met my Edward. With his inquisitive stare and those brown, brown eyes that sat beneath a furrowed brow every time he came upon something new he didn't not know there was a lot to love.

I love a lot about Erudite as well. But that was the old Erudite.

Jeanine is now the leader. And with her comes a new Erudite. A cold, bitter Erudite where if you do not know something you are worse than dirt.

There is no joy in learning now. It is considered a must.

And I can no longer find any love there. Even Edward cannot find peace amongst those books.

So we have decided to leave.

Hand in hand, we will choose a new peace.

A new place.

A new future.

I will no longer be Erudite.

But amongst the other factions, where do I belong? Amity is too cheerful, too blissfully ignorant. I could not stand their inane chatter. I cannot condone the frightful truths of Candor either. They are so noisy, so restless. Then there is Abnegation with their selfless ways. But they say that learning for the sake of quenching one's thirst is selfish and I cannot live that way. So all that is left is Dauntless: where the fearless, courageous and powerful belong. But do I truly fit in there?

My Edward says that Dauntless will do. But he has been training since 10. Out of curiosity of course. I would have done the same, but my body has no physical strengths. The most I can lift are a few books. Thus, can I really say I will fit there?

I do not know. I am curious as most Erudites are: to see how I will fare in such an environment.

I should've known better. Should've looked at the stats and data. Should've seen this coming.

As they say, Curiosity kills the cat.

And it sure as hell killed me.

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**Hope you liked it. Please R&R. All constructive criticism welcome~**

**Saffa- **


	2. Choosing

**Okay, the story officially begins. It's a lot like Tris' journey in the actual book, but these are Myra's feelings that shape the story. Enjoy and please review~**

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**Chapter 1: Choosing**

I have chosen.

My name is called out: Myra Evans.

As I stand, I look to my Edwards sitting a few seats away from me. He looks at me with steady, strong eyes. He nods and puts two fingers to his lips: a mark of his love for me and a sign that he will always be behind me; in the name register and in life.

I have chosen.

I steady myself and walk to towards where Marcus of Abnegation stands. Where the five bowls of fate lie. I take that sharp, sharp knife and ignore the thousands of scientific thoughts that come to my mind. Ignore the possibility of bacterial infection or cutting too deep that platelets cannot patch it up effectively. I ignore the watching faces around me and dig the knife in deep.

I have chosen.

Red blood – haemoglobins to be precise – leak out, spilling precious liquid and I hesitate for a moment. But only for one moment. Then in a careful, deliberate movement I drip the red liquid onto those sizzling stones. They jump and spit and confirm my choice for Dauntless.

I have chosen.

I put down the knife carefully and walk away. Away from my old faction and towards a new one. I can feel the cold pinpricks on my neck of Erudite stares. They are cursing my traitorous behavior, cursing how I could ever leave them behind.

But I have made my choice. I have chosen.

Behind me I hear several murmurs as other children choose their fates. Then I hear a name that makes me look up.

"Edward Farrows." He stands, straight backed and with eyes of complete conviction. He walks, with long legs that hold him up. He picks up the knife swiftly, no signs of hesitation. And he puts knife to palm and blood to fire.

A hiss goes through the Erudite crowd. There goes a second Erudite-born, and worse, to Dauntless. At least they probably are glad we haven't chosen Abnegation.

Edward walks over to me with a soft smile on his lips. I reach out with one hand, welcoming him to his new faction. He takes it gratefully, sharing his warmth with me.

As he sits down he kisses my cheek and I respond with a soft squeeze to tell him I am with him. And now we are both alone in this faction. Alone but together. That is important to remember.

We together have chosen.

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**Well, how was it? Myra has chosen and its to be with Edward. **

**Her journey now begins. **


	3. Initiating

**A/N: So Myra has chosen a new faction and initiation begins! Perhaps not as smoothly as she'd hope though. Enjoy~**

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**Chapter 2: Initiating**

We leave with the mass of Dauntless.

They take the stairs like wild creatures. They whoop, they scream, they cheer with pure elation and joy. They run like they have fire at their feet and they jump like their have springboards beneath their soles. To some transfers around me, it seems an exhilarating experience. To me it is tiring.

20 floors later we are at the ground, but the running does not stop there. No, we continue towards those sleek black trains that continuously pump their way around the city. And my Erudite brain instantly pieces together what insane thing we have to do: we have to jump onto the train.

I gulp. Turn to Edward who though can run faster than me, has kept pace with my slow jogging. My eyes must betray my worry because he takes my hand and grips it tight.

"Don't worry." He says, somehow penetrating the wild noise around us. "I'll help you." And I believe him.

As we jog beside the train, aligning ourselves to its speed, Edward jumps in first. Flawlessly. He grabs the metal bar and slides in, sleek as a seal. Then he turns around and holds his hand out. I grab it immediately, like a drowning person finding a lifeline. His muscles pull taut and he practically lifts me off my feet and into the train cart. Instantly, his arms are around me, pulling me further into the train and down onto the floor.

I gratefully sink into his warmth and away from the lashing arms of the wind. He softly pulls me closer, wedging me into the niche under his chin. With his head resting on mine and our hands clasped together, I finally fall asleep – exhausted.

What feels like a mere five minutes later but is actually about half an hour, Edwards gently shakes me awake. We have arrived.

Or at least that is what I thought.

He pulls me up without second thought. All his instincts geared towards protecting me. He nods towards the train's window where others are crowded, muttering darkly.

"We have to jump again." He says, matter-of-factly. "Onto a building."

I freeze. If jumping onto the train was bad enough, now I have to jump onto a _roof!_

Dauntless initiation is crazy. It defies all logical reason. Not for the first time, I miss Erudite.

But I cannot cry. It is not logical. Crying will not help me in any biological manner. So clench my fists and look at Edward.

"Okay." I tell him. "No problem."

He smiles. "That's my girl." But I know he will still protect me. Help me across. Be my shining knights in armor.

We go first. That way there'll be more roof space to work with, he tells me so logically I cannot reveal the fear that prickles at my heart. I simply nod, take his hand and walk to the door that leads to potential death.

"We jump at the same time." He tells me, laying out the plan as he always does before he initiates action.

I reply by clasping his hand tighter and bending my knees, ready to jump. Soon enough, the train comes around the bend and the building ripples before me, far too fast for me to properly see it.

"Now." He hisses. We jump. We land. We roll. We are safe.

My leg burns as it has landed awkwardly and Edward notices. But he doesn't lift me up in his arms because both he and I know that that would make me look weak. No, but he does put one arm around my waist to support me enough that it doesn't hurt.

We hobble over to the end of the roof where a tall man stands, imposingly. He nods at our arrival, noting we are the first to jump off other than the Dauntless-born. But I also notice how his eyes slide over mine and focus on Edward. He can tell that Edward will make a strong candidate: power and intelligence combined.

And in his eyes, I am nothing but a weakling.

In his eyes, I have already failed initiation.

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**So Myra has realized her shortcomings. Perhaps she's a little pessimistic, but that's how i figure she would be.**

**She will however, change. That i promise. **

**Please review and tell me how you think it is. **


	4. Jumping

**A/N: In this chapter you get to see a bit of Tris and how she fares in the eyes of others. Because even though this story isn't about Tris, she's still a main factor of how the story plays out and also inspiration for Myra. **

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**Chapter 3**: **Jumping**

We all stand at the edge of the roof, a looming pit ahead of us. Almost all of us. Two have been lost. One is a transfer who'd rather be factionless than die. Funny, I never considered becoming factionless when I viewed my options outside of Erudite. The other was a Dauntless-born girl broken 30 stories below us. I wonder who will retrieve her body. Or will it lie there, forever forgotten?

The man in front of us – Max, he tells us – stands with his arms crossed. He is the man who deemed Edward strong and me weak. I do not trust him.

"Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction." He sounds strong, confident. He treats the edge of the building like a sidewalk. But he is older than the Dauntless I have seen before. He has dark skin and dark hair faded gray. The creases in his forehead suggest a life worth of worries. He is experienced and not to be trifled with.

"Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."

Wait. Hold up a sec. What!

"You want us to jump off a _ledge?_" I practically screech. I cannot help the words that fall out of my mouth.

"Yes." He says in a casual tone, obviously amused.

Horror fills my eyes. He is officially crazy. All the Dauntless are crazy. There is no logic to this. Okay maybe there is psychologically speaking, but my brain doesn't want to support whatever argument is in the Dauntless' favor.

"Is there water at the bottom or something?" I am desperate to work a way around this. There is no way they would kill us right?

"Who knows?" He replies, carelessly raising his eyebrows. I am tempted to shave those thick caterpillar excuses for facial hair off. If only my brain didn't tell me how futile that would be since they'd grow back at a rate of 0.16mm per day.

I begin to shake and Edward notices. He wraps one arm around me and tries to stop me from looking so weak. Why, oh why, did I join this suicidal faction?

Edward takes a step forward. But I am holding him back. I know he has no fear of the dark hole. But I have, so he waits for me to calm down. And in that moment, a girl steps forwards: the Abnegation girl.

She is courageous. She stands at the edge and looks over with a determined expression. Then she takes off her outer gray shirt. I think this is the first time I've ever seen an Abnegation wear tight clothes, but there it is. Evidence to refute my theory. She balls up the shirt, turns and throws it at a Candor boy with a nasty expression. His face becomes even sourer. I notice her disputing her position as alpha male, as the person to fear. Like wolves and lions and countless other predators, she is saying she is strong. She is to be respected. I notice the corner of Max's mouth twitch with reluctant approval. Then she turns back to the hole in front of her with a fearless gaze.

Max looks intrigued. I suppose it's not every day Dauntless gets an Abnegation transfer. And for her to be the first willing jumper? Well it must be a shock. But there she stands, bends her knees and leaps into an unknown world.

I wait. Wait for the crunching sound just like Rita's sister falling to the ground. I wait for a sign to prove that the Dauntless are truly idiots. But nothing happens. So a tall lean Candor girl follows her.

Now I can hear something. At first its hysterical shrieks, then the sounds of laughter and applause. Finally the words come faintly "First jumper. Tris!"

"It'll be fine." Edward reassures me, pulling me towards the edge. As we pass, I see Max's eyes narrow at me. We tighten our grip and jump at the same time. There is that horrible sensation of my stomach flipping and then a net catches us. It isn't kind. The tough rope digs into my skin and makes me squeak. Strong hands quickly pull me out of the net. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see Edward accept a hand and gracefully maneuver himself out. I, however, clumsily collapse to the floor trying to catch my breath.

"Are you okay?" asks a solid voice. I look up and at the outstretched hand. The hand is attached to a sturdy man with dark, dreaming, blue eyes and a set mouth. He looks strong, firm and most of all imposing. I accept his hand but let go as soon as possible.

"Thanks." I mumble and then move to where Edward is. Move towards his safety and security. He takes my hand absentmindedly but I can see his eyes are darting around the room, trying to absorb all information possible.

"Amazing." He whispers noticing the infrastructure, the natural formation of the cave, and the deliberate pattern of the netting that makes it stronger and safer.

All I notice are my knees shaking.

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**Please R&R~**


	5. Fighting

**A/N: Finally it's fighting time. And of course poor Myra is totally not up to it. There's a little romance to make up for Myra's constant depressing thoughts tho~**

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**Chapter 4:** **Fighting**

It has only been one day. One exhausting, infuriatingly insane day. In that time, I have chosen to become Dauntless, I have jumped on and off trains and I have leaped into the Dauntless compound. Which is just as freaking insane as the rest of the faction. I mean who has a _pit_ in the middle of their compound where people could slip and fall into! It defies safety regulations. Wait, I forgot. Dauntless don't have safety regulations. They just have a 'try not to die' guidelines. Go figure.

After a nights rest that surely isn't enough time for the brain to recover and recuperate, we are now standing here in the middle of a room with guns in our hand. Brilliant. Whoever thought to give a bunch of sixteen year old's loaded gun was obviously Dauntless. Erudite would never do such a thing. No, they'd use robots and machines to test parameters before even thinking of involving humans into the equation. Trust Dauntless to move first, think later.

Edward however looks relaxed. He handles the gun easily. I know how to hold a gun and where the safety trigger is and how to aim properly, but I am not made of steel. When I fire the gun, the recoil practically sends me sprawling. Eric, steel-studded Eric, has pretty much given up on me. Just like Max, his eyes slide over me. But that's okay.

I try to fire the gun as little as possible. I try to remain invisible. To no avail. Four approaches me and steadies me, makes me fire the gun. Gods, I could hate him for this.

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The next day is worse. It's not guns anymore but actual proper hand-to-hand combat. Dear Lord, someone up there really hates me. I'm paired up with Edward which is the only good piece of news. That however turns sour when Eric tells us that the only way out is to knock the opponent senseless. My conviction is complete that I will die a horrible death, but all of a sudden Christina opts out and Eric forces her to hang from the chasm for five minutes.

It's a terrifying five minutes for me even though I am not the one hanging for my dear life over that godforsaken chasm. Luckily, that little sideshow meant that Eric forgot about the other fights and we discontinued from there on.

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The image of Christina nearly falling haunts me to bed. I cannot sleep for fear that the next person playing chicken will be me. Statistically speaking, it is highly likely to be me. I sit on my bed, shaking with the thought of the spray of water tickling my toes and my fingers slipping. The thought of Edward standing there, unable to help me as I fall to my watery death. I can't help choking out a gasp.

I know that showing weakness will be my downfall so as quietly as possible, I run out of the room. Out to the darkness of the night. It's about 3 in the morning so even the biggest partiers of Dauntless are tucked away in bed. They dream of freefalling and fighting and all things death-inducing, but they rejoice in that adrenaline rush. I however fear it. I lower myself to the stone step floor and curl up. I try to rationalize that I will survive, that Edward will help me out of this all. That I won't die, die, die, die….

"Myra?" a voice pierces through the night. It startles me and I have to hold back a shriek.

"Myra." The voice comes closer and out of the gloom appears my Edward. I let out a relieved sigh.

"Edward." I say. "You scared me."

He lowers himself gracefully next to me and pulls me close. I didn't realize how cold I was until he shared his warmth. How alone I felt until he gave me his company.

"What's wrong?" he asks. "Are you scared?"

I nod, unwilling to bring my nightmares into reality through words.

"I'll protect you always." He whispers into my ear. He promises things he can never be sure of. I used to love him for his consistency, for his belief that our future consisted of the both of us. But now I am not sure. Dauntless has forced our differences out into the open. He is striding forwards and I am left behind. "I promise." He says, as if hearing my thoughts.

_Can you?_ I think, but do not voice. _Are you sure_, dark thoughts prickle my conscious. I shake my head and decide what I need is a distraction. "Myra?" Edward asks, unnerved by my silence. He cannot calculate how to react if I say nothing.

I turn my head and pull down his face. I stare into those soulful brown eyes, glimmering with intelligence and kindness. His lips part and his breath warms my cold thoughts. I draw myself close so that our noses are touching, our eyes staring right into each other. "Myra." He whispers, forming my name and breathing it out. "Yes." I murmur back and run my hands through his short brown hair, reveling in its silkiness.

"Nothing." He says and then closes his eyes and presses his lips to mine. I shape mine around his, letting the passion flow. He wraps solid arms around me and kisses me harder. And for this moment, I feel like maybe I can do it. Maybe Dauntless can be faction for me.

I should've known better.

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**Yes Myra, you should've know. Now it's time for her life to truly spiral out of control.**

**Please R&R - **


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